surgery, recovery, and life (or carpal tunnel, part 1)

My blog is doomed.  You know how I know?  I have been not working for almost a month now, and I still can't find time in my nothingness to write.  Sure, there is a bit of needing inspiration, but mostly, its lacking in motivation.  And if I'm not motivated to write when I am desperately bored, how in the world will I find motivation when I am caught up in the throes of summer?  Perhaps in my "nothing to do" in the next two weeks, I can find motivation to write.  Its worth hoping, right? 

Oh right.  Maybe not everyone knows about why I haven't been working for almost a month.  Since I have time, I might as well tell you the long version of the story. 

Last winter, I would wake up at night with a numb hand.  being not entirely coherent, I didn't have much clue as to what was going on, so I associated it with having circulation cut off somehow by how I sleep.  As it became more consistent, I paid a little more attention to it.  I realized that it was always my left hand, and it was specifically my thumb, index, middle, and not as much in my ring finger. 

Armed with a little more definite symptoms, I took to the internet.  And what I found scared me.  carpal tunnel syndrome.  Really?  I thought that happened to old people who worked at computers all their lives.  The more I read, the more i discovered that it has everything to do with using hands, specifically repetitive motions.  The thing that scared me the most about it is how much I use my hands.  As a mechanic, my hands are my primary source of income.  Would I have to find something else to do with my life?

I called my ever faithful personal nurse (aka mom) to tell her about what was going on, ask advice, and see what she thought.  She talked to me about taking anti-inflammatories, and sent me a brace to sleep in.  The first night I slept in the brace, I slept better than I had in weeks, and realized that it was the numbness waking me up.  After a few weeks of sleeping in the brace, it got a lot better, and I didn't have to sleep in the brace.  Numbness and pain came on and off throughout the next year, but it was completely managable with the brace and ibprofen when it did come up. 

Then this last winter, we started on our big winter project in the hangar- our 207 overhaul.  Anyone who knows anything about silver bullet projects like this knows that it involves a lot of sheet metal fabrication, which involves a lot of rivet guns, drills, and die grinders.  Around Thanksgiving, symptoms were back in full force, and home treatments weren't effective anymore. 

(this post is getting rather long, so I will break the story up.)

To be continued...

anticipation

Let's face it, its been a cold winter.  For an entire month, the temperature crept above zero for less than two days.  Most of the time it hovered around -30.  The bitter cold made an escape to a warm, tropical destination much sweeter.  Mom and I begun planning our trip to Hawaii in October, but when the abnormally long cold snap came, I was even more grateful.

And everyone around me knew it. 

At work, I reported to co-workers how many days before I would be lounging on a warm beach.

At Bible study, the ladies would roll their eyes at my praise: an upcoming tropical getaway.

Even the girls were giving me advice on sunbathing and staying away from surfers. 

When I went into Anchorage, I let the world know where I was headed.  From the people at the doctor's office to the people standing in line with me at the coffee shop, everyone was aware, and probably a little jealous, that I was escaping the cold and darkness for two whole weeks. 

Based on the cold, Hawaii seems like paradise.  But as I thought about how excited I was to share about my temporary escape, I started to wonder, Why am I not more excited to share about my permanent escape?


I realized that Hawaii may seem like paradise, but its not heaven.  Don't get me wrong, I had a blast.  Its beautiful and wonderful there.  But not heaven. 

Heaven is heaven.

I am going there.  And not just for two weeks, but forever.  I get to spend forever in a place that is infinitely more wonderful than Hawaii.

Forever.  

Now that is a little more exciting than getting out of the cold for a couple weeks.  

80 degrees of teperature change

Perhaps the most enjoyable aspect of my trip was the warm sunshine. When I pulled into the Anchorage airport at around 11:30 PM, the welcome sign indicated an outside air temperature of 7 degrees. Better than the -20 registered at home.

The first stop on my trip was Seattle. I had a really quick layover there. So quick that I basically walked off one airplane and on to the other. As I boarded, I could feel the cool damp Seattle air. There were piles of mostly melted snow from their weird winter weather as we taxiied for the runway.

Even though I slept through both flights, I found this detail interesting. The flight from Anchorage to Seattle is 4 hours, while only 3 hours from Seattle to San Diego. Not only is Alaska really big, its really far away. This detail baffled acquaintances throughout my trip, and contributed to the "hardcore Alaskan mountain woman" reputation I gained.

When we landed in sunny San Diego, I was in heaven. It was around 60 degrees, not too hot to melt, but warm enough that I could remove layers and soak up some sunshine. I managed to get sunburned twice during the week, but both times faded into a tan. I remember looking in the mirror and being surprised at how nice I looked, even before makeup. I realized it was mostly to do with the fact that I wasn't the ghastly pale Alaskan that I am used to seeing.

On the day I left, the weather couldn't have been more beautiful. I kept asking myself why in the world I was getting on an airplane and leaving. Especially after I read the weather observation from home. -15. I did what I could to enjoy the last rays of warmth before we ascended into the subzero temperatures of 757 appropriate cruising altitudes. I'm pretty sure I moped all the way to Seattle, my entire layover while observing the gray drizzle, and the entire flight into Anchorage. I was redeemed some the next day by sunshine, but it was not warm. I could feel any color I had gained during the week being sucked out as I covered every inch of skin with layers. As much as I want to absorb some more rays, I realized that frostbite isn't worth it.

Sunny San Diego, I will admit it. I am smitten with you.