Last Political Post Ever
9 years ago
29 May 2009
21 May 2009
needs or wants and an american value system
Reasons I am stuck in Texas:
sppech class...............................complete
flying..................................almost done
trying to find a way home....about to start walking
I need a car and a computer. What happened to the car and computer I had before I went to Africa? The car got sold. I loved gizmo, but I dont think she ever would have made it to Alaska. Not with her propensity to ride tow trucks. Teddy, back home, doesnt like cold weather. When it gets below 30 degrees outside, the doors freeze shut. Not to mention he is older than I am. So it is safe to assume a car would be a very useful investment for me.
Also mentioned is the computer. My old computer that I got my senior year of high school has kicked the bucket. The insides no longer function properly, so I cannot get a charge from the wall to the battery. It runs off battery power, even when plugged in. As much as I would love to MacGyver up a charger, I really don't want to blow anything up in the process. Instead of paying 300 dollars for the part my decrepit old computer needs, I decided I should probably get a new computer.
Obviously, these things cost money. Money is a little difficult when one is a recent graduate, and has plans until early august, so one cannot obtain a job. This got me thinking (as many things do) about the time I spent in Kenya. Kenyans dont have credit cards and loans. They are probably a lot better off than I am. I am already in debt enough over my 4 years at LeTourneau.
So that's where I am at. I am looking forward to a few months from now when this is all behind me. I know I will be asking myself what was worrying me so much!!
sppech class...............................complete
flying..................................almost done
trying to find a way home....about to start walking
I need a car and a computer. What happened to the car and computer I had before I went to Africa? The car got sold. I loved gizmo, but I dont think she ever would have made it to Alaska. Not with her propensity to ride tow trucks. Teddy, back home, doesnt like cold weather. When it gets below 30 degrees outside, the doors freeze shut. Not to mention he is older than I am. So it is safe to assume a car would be a very useful investment for me.
Also mentioned is the computer. My old computer that I got my senior year of high school has kicked the bucket. The insides no longer function properly, so I cannot get a charge from the wall to the battery. It runs off battery power, even when plugged in. As much as I would love to MacGyver up a charger, I really don't want to blow anything up in the process. Instead of paying 300 dollars for the part my decrepit old computer needs, I decided I should probably get a new computer.
Obviously, these things cost money. Money is a little difficult when one is a recent graduate, and has plans until early august, so one cannot obtain a job. This got me thinking (as many things do) about the time I spent in Kenya. Kenyans dont have credit cards and loans. They are probably a lot better off than I am. I am already in debt enough over my 4 years at LeTourneau.
So that's where I am at. I am looking forward to a few months from now when this is all behind me. I know I will be asking myself what was worrying me so much!!
11 May 2009
still alive, still computer-less.
I really need to order a computer. This whole computer lab thing really is lame. CJ and Autumn, my current hosts, are amazing. They dont mind me using their laptop, which is awesome. And bonus! Its a mac, so I am getting used to the way that system works. I will be spending plenty more time with one though, as soon as I buckle down and order my new computer.
Note to self: don't put off a freshman level class, required of all majors, until after you graduate. Motivation quickly approaches zero. Not that its hard at all, and I will still probably get an A. I pity those who actually put effort into the class.
The weather here is awful. If its not thunderstorms, its low clouds. If its not low clouds, its incredibly windy. And if its not windy, its thunderstorms. To top it all off, a stationary front has decided to come in and park right over our heads for the next 3 days, giving us weather so bad that the ducks are walking. I think I could have logged some of the drive into school today as actual time. Flying is going well, when it does happen. I have had several weather cancellations, and then the weather turns out really nice in the afternoons, after I am supposed to fly.
Maybe someday I will get out of Texas and get on to Alaska.
Note to self: don't put off a freshman level class, required of all majors, until after you graduate. Motivation quickly approaches zero. Not that its hard at all, and I will still probably get an A. I pity those who actually put effort into the class.
The weather here is awful. If its not thunderstorms, its low clouds. If its not low clouds, its incredibly windy. And if its not windy, its thunderstorms. To top it all off, a stationary front has decided to come in and park right over our heads for the next 3 days, giving us weather so bad that the ducks are walking. I think I could have logged some of the drive into school today as actual time. Flying is going well, when it does happen. I have had several weather cancellations, and then the weather turns out really nice in the afternoons, after I am supposed to fly.
Maybe someday I will get out of Texas and get on to Alaska.
03 May 2009
time for a real update...
not having a computer is frustrating. That leaves me to do any electronic word processing in the computer labs on campus, hardly a thought provoking environment!! So bear with me, as I try to sort out a few thoughts and make an attempt to let you know what is going on in my head and not just my life.
I walked across a stage yesterday in a timeless ritual. The president of the university handed me an empty diploma holder, and the only thought going through my head was "DONT TRIP! DONT TRIP! DONT TRIP! DONT TRIP!!!!!" Thank you Lord, I didn't trip.
I have said a lot of goodbyes in the last week. Unfortunately, I haven't left Longview yet. I have to get through commercial single engine and speech class first. Hopefully those will be done in two weeks. After that, I move on to Alaska!
Graduation automatically means transition. Coming to college was a huge transition, but at that point most people are naive enough to have no clue what life is all about. I know I didn't have a clue. I guess I wouldnt mind this transition so much if it wasn't so long. It really started back in December, when I packed everything up and moved out of my apartment in Longview. I went home... for a few weeks. I went to Africa... for a few months. Even in Africa I moved from place to place to place, never staying anywhere longer than a month, on average about 2 weeks per place. I came back to Longview, a place where I already said goodbye... for a few weeks. I am going to the ranch in Alaska... for a few months. At the end of the summer, if the Lord wills, I will be moving into Anchorage to work. Maybe then I will find a place where I can settle.
I love the thrill and adventure of travelling, moving around, seeing new places, and making new friends. But I am really tired of it. I am really looking forward to having a place I can hang pictures on the walls, put the dishes where I want them in the cabinet, stock a pantry full of food, organize a desk and calendar, and pick color themes for different rooms. Maybe by Christmas I will be able to walk in the front door and feel like I am home. Not my parents house, not my best friends house, but my home. I am beyond ready to feel a little more settled.
Beyond what I want to feel, though, is where God wants me to be. Through all the flurry of activities, the whirl of changing schedules and the strange noise deadlines make as they fly past me, I gotta try my best to remember where I am anchored. As much as I want to figure out what is best for my life and what I need, I should be seeking what God has planned for my life, and seeking what I need based on His standards, not my own.
I have come to an intersection. The street signs point in all different directions, and I can't clearly read what any of them say. From when I can first make out the intersection with the haphazard arrows, to when I am established on the next course is this period of transition. The only thing I know is that I cant go backwards. It would be like walking up the down escalator, it doesn't do any good, especially when the rest of the world is trying to go down.
I walked across a stage yesterday in a timeless ritual. The president of the university handed me an empty diploma holder, and the only thought going through my head was "DONT TRIP! DONT TRIP! DONT TRIP! DONT TRIP!!!!!" Thank you Lord, I didn't trip.
I have said a lot of goodbyes in the last week. Unfortunately, I haven't left Longview yet. I have to get through commercial single engine and speech class first. Hopefully those will be done in two weeks. After that, I move on to Alaska!
Graduation automatically means transition. Coming to college was a huge transition, but at that point most people are naive enough to have no clue what life is all about. I know I didn't have a clue. I guess I wouldnt mind this transition so much if it wasn't so long. It really started back in December, when I packed everything up and moved out of my apartment in Longview. I went home... for a few weeks. I went to Africa... for a few months. Even in Africa I moved from place to place to place, never staying anywhere longer than a month, on average about 2 weeks per place. I came back to Longview, a place where I already said goodbye... for a few weeks. I am going to the ranch in Alaska... for a few months. At the end of the summer, if the Lord wills, I will be moving into Anchorage to work. Maybe then I will find a place where I can settle.
I love the thrill and adventure of travelling, moving around, seeing new places, and making new friends. But I am really tired of it. I am really looking forward to having a place I can hang pictures on the walls, put the dishes where I want them in the cabinet, stock a pantry full of food, organize a desk and calendar, and pick color themes for different rooms. Maybe by Christmas I will be able to walk in the front door and feel like I am home. Not my parents house, not my best friends house, but my home. I am beyond ready to feel a little more settled.
Beyond what I want to feel, though, is where God wants me to be. Through all the flurry of activities, the whirl of changing schedules and the strange noise deadlines make as they fly past me, I gotta try my best to remember where I am anchored. As much as I want to figure out what is best for my life and what I need, I should be seeking what God has planned for my life, and seeking what I need based on His standards, not my own.
I have come to an intersection. The street signs point in all different directions, and I can't clearly read what any of them say. From when I can first make out the intersection with the haphazard arrows, to when I am established on the next course is this period of transition. The only thing I know is that I cant go backwards. It would be like walking up the down escalator, it doesn't do any good, especially when the rest of the world is trying to go down.
29 April 2009
25 April 2009
20 April 2009
rude awakening
I like my snooze button. Anyone who has experienced me in the morning when I am required to awake at a predetermined time has witnessed my alarm going off a significant while before that time, me flailing to shut it off, and the alarm going off again. This phenomenon is often repeated up to three times each morning. Eventually I drag my lazy self out of bed, but am not usually fully conscious for about another half hour, only after an injection of coffee or some other source of caffeine.
I have discovered the last week of my life to closely parallel my morning habits. As you can mostly tell from previous blog entries, I was in Africa for almost 3 months. Maybe that time period represents a good night’s sleep. Maybe even a few pleasant dreams as I saw the way aviation works on the mission field; played with all sorts of fantastic animals; and relaxed at the beach. A few not so pleasant dreams as I trudged through the streets of Kibera; looked into the eyes of a child orphaned by aides; drove past camps of people displaced by the election violence last year. Before I knew it, my alarm started going off: I was getting on a plane to go home.
As is my habit, I flailed. I blindly sleepily reached for the button to turn off my alarm so I could return to the dream world. Of course, I am not getting any quality sleep at this point, I am just dozing back into the world I remember of Africa. I spent my first full day in the states alone, trying to adjust to being in America. Mostly I spent the day pining away after the people I left in Africa. But the reality is that I am done with that part of my life. Alan said it well: “Wherever you are, be all there.” I have to stop hitting the snooze button, I have to stop pretending I can go back.
Lucky for me, I haven’t ever needed a friend to come in with a bucket of cold water to wake me up. Unfortunately for this phase of life, I think I do. This morning I flew for the first time in 6 months. 6 months of not flying is a lot of time when you have only been flying for 3 years. I felt very overwhelmed, not knowing if I could really do it. After that, I went to visit professors under whom I am taking classes this semester. I have a ton of work I have to do to catch up. All the work and the flying hit me like a cold bucket of water in the early morning. Not a pleasant way to wake up, but I know its time to wake up and face the day.
I would love to go back to bed, to curl up and pretend I don’t have to do all of this. But let’s face it, my bed is kind of wet now. I can get up and face the responsibility, or I can curl up and ignore the fact that I am soaked. Either way, I can’t hit the snooze button. I can’t go back to Africa right now. I have to be in the present; I have to be here to finish what I started. It’s time to find some caffeine.
I have discovered the last week of my life to closely parallel my morning habits. As you can mostly tell from previous blog entries, I was in Africa for almost 3 months. Maybe that time period represents a good night’s sleep. Maybe even a few pleasant dreams as I saw the way aviation works on the mission field; played with all sorts of fantastic animals; and relaxed at the beach. A few not so pleasant dreams as I trudged through the streets of Kibera; looked into the eyes of a child orphaned by aides; drove past camps of people displaced by the election violence last year. Before I knew it, my alarm started going off: I was getting on a plane to go home.
As is my habit, I flailed. I blindly sleepily reached for the button to turn off my alarm so I could return to the dream world. Of course, I am not getting any quality sleep at this point, I am just dozing back into the world I remember of Africa. I spent my first full day in the states alone, trying to adjust to being in America. Mostly I spent the day pining away after the people I left in Africa. But the reality is that I am done with that part of my life. Alan said it well: “Wherever you are, be all there.” I have to stop hitting the snooze button, I have to stop pretending I can go back.
Lucky for me, I haven’t ever needed a friend to come in with a bucket of cold water to wake me up. Unfortunately for this phase of life, I think I do. This morning I flew for the first time in 6 months. 6 months of not flying is a lot of time when you have only been flying for 3 years. I felt very overwhelmed, not knowing if I could really do it. After that, I went to visit professors under whom I am taking classes this semester. I have a ton of work I have to do to catch up. All the work and the flying hit me like a cold bucket of water in the early morning. Not a pleasant way to wake up, but I know its time to wake up and face the day.
I would love to go back to bed, to curl up and pretend I don’t have to do all of this. But let’s face it, my bed is kind of wet now. I can get up and face the responsibility, or I can curl up and ignore the fact that I am soaked. Either way, I can’t hit the snooze button. I can’t go back to Africa right now. I have to be in the present; I have to be here to finish what I started. It’s time to find some caffeine.
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